Okay, I have to take a moment and say this and share my experience.
I saw a dietician today, and it was such an amazing experience. I have always been overweight, and at one point I lost 60lbs. But I have gained most of it back over the last year and a half. For the most part I contributed it to slacking on my diet, eating poorly and lack of sleep. However, I have worked out at minimum 4 days a week for the last 3 years, not saying that exercise will out weigh a poor diet, because it certainly won’t, but I wasn’t being a complete slacker. The thing that has stumped me and my doctor was, how and why in the world did I gain THAT much weight back, that quickly, with maintaining a decent diet and daily exercise?
I have been anxious about this appointment with a dietician since the day my doctor suggested it. Because I have been fat shamed at just about any medical office I’ve been to. Yes, including the dentist. I was being told that my symptoms were that of obesity and that I needed to exercise more and eat less. (Insert eye-roll here) Because that was WHY I went in to be seen in the first place. I eat pretty healthy and exercise daily. I have been experiencing extreme fatigue for the last year, bouts of depression and just overall YUCK. And have not felt ‘myself’ in a very long time. Is my diet perfect? Nope, but who’s is? I had quite a few blood tests done. ALL normal. I was stumped and so was my doctor to a point. I thought maybe…just maybe my body had had enough of the synthetic hormones I was getting from my IUD, even though it’s not known for that to happen. I had that removed this week. Because I thought to myself, I’m going to remove every foreign thing attributing to my body as possible to have the best outcomes of anything I try to do to improve my health. When I first lost my weight, I wasn’t on anything at all, no birth control, no anti depressants… nothing!
I went into my appointment nervous about shame, and having to have more tests done and having to try and prove to this person that I wasn’t lazy and didn’t constantly eat fast food. But to my surprise, I was met with a bright smile and friendly personality. I felt respected, understood and most of all BELIEVED. This was the most relief I have ever felt, someone who BELIEVED me. When I told them I train 7 days a week, every doctor I’ve seen has judged me and never believed me saying I was overeating or not exercising long or hard enough. I got answers from this dietitian and more concrete affirmations that I was on the right track and that I just needed to tweak some things. But I can’t begin to tell you how confident and excited I felt walking out that office of how much research I’ve done on my own, help I reached out for, therapy I went to, self development that I’ve done that it was finally acknowledged by a medical professional. Hearing, how healthy I really am based of of blood work and concrete facts vs. what they all saw on the outside. Having someone tell me, you are extremely healthy for the extra amount of weight you are carrying, vs. someone my weight and unhealthy. I was told I was HEALTHY. For someone who has been obese their entire life and told how unhealthy they were, hearing that you are healthy is like the biggest validation I’ve had in a very long time. This next step will be challenging but the most rewarding, this will be something will carry with me for the rest of my life. Building a healthy relationship with food is going to be the best thing I’ve ever done for myself (next to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu of course !) and I’m so excited to see how my body is going to respond to me finally giving it what it needs and loving it vs. punishing it and shaming it.
Til next time friends,